University Essays

by Ckoi


Hi I am new here, I have been taking IELTS exam for about 6 times already and I havent got my desired bandscore of 7 in my writing test.

I would like to share my essay and I am hoping I could get a comment and corrections from all of you.


Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In the past, there was a big disparity between men and women with regards in receiveing education; wherein, young girls were not given a privilege to go to school while boys on the one hand, were sent to the most prominent academy at those times. However, nowadays there is a propostion being raised that Universities must admit an equal amount of male and female learners in every discipline; in which I do firmly agree.

To begin with, having a coeduacational institution is not that always harmonious, men and women in a one set up could lead to chaos because it is inivetable, they do not get along very well, on the accord that they do not think the same way, do things evenly or even believe in things similarly; Nevertheless, despite of such diffrences are a handful advantages.

First, because of the fact, they do not conceive alike, creative and wild ideas will eventually sprung out from each one of them in every subject they are into. Second, there will be a balance expression of insights that could enhance and develop their understandings about their various topics.Lastly, acquiring a tantamount numbers of students in both sexes can and will aid them to widen their perception and knowledge.

In summation, I do believe that there are more beneficial outcome in having an equal number of both male and female students in each subject matter in all academies in the globe.

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May 07, 2014
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I am preparing for Ielts too but
by: Anonymous

In my opinion , you need to come down , honestly saying, ur essay is just a page of complicated words and it is hard to find ur direct answer to exact question , i don't know if i have spelling mistake or not but i am sure that u now know my opinion about ur essay . This matters .

Jul 12, 2014
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sentences are too high to understand
by: Anonymous

I think your essay is too high-class which is far beyond the understanding of beginners. You can write your essay in simple sentences.

Jul 18, 2014
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Essay
by: IELTS buddy

Unfortunately I think the comments above are correct.

You look like you are trying to use lots of complex words, but they are not all used correctly and it is sometimes unclear what your point is.

You do need to simplify things.

Did you plan before you wrote the essay?

You need to plan carefully - decide what each idea will be to support your point and use examples to explain it further.

Take a look at some of the writing lessons for Task 2 on this page: IELTS Lessons




Sep 03, 2014
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avearage
by: deepes

its true that some of the sentences are long and some of the words are complicated. It would be better to make it simple and clear to score better ielts marks.

Sep 17, 2014
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essay opnion
by: Anonymous

Yes am agree with all who commented before that your words are tough to understand...Like i just wants to write an essay for my Language paper but could not understand the mean of your words..

Sep 26, 2014
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incorrect focus
by: Anonymous

hi. i believe that ur essay lacks proper ideas. u talked too much out of topic and put emphasis only on structure and words.the main priority for u should be appropriate idea and a little support of it

Oct 02, 2014
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by: Anonymous

hi i am beginner, i want to ask the question that in writing essay should i use simple words or high vocabulary. because some people say that we should use high vocabulary


Oct 02, 2014
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Vocabulary
by: IELTS buddy

Hi,

You should do what is within your ability. There is no point in using 'high level' vocabulary if you are going to make lots of mistakes.

You are likely to get a better score if you use words that you know you can properly.

Keep learning new vocabulary and practice with it but be careful in the test.

Nov 21, 2014
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not so good
by: Anonymous

Should give 3 or 4 examples too??

Jan 07, 2015
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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students
by: Anonymous

hello, I agree with your point that there should be equal no. of men and women in universities. I am afraid that your way of presenting your ideas is not comprehensive.

we should try to write as many positive points in support of our arguments in the given word limit and cut down useless info that the examiner is supposed to be least interested in ( like your first paragraph. you should add in more positive effects which the proposed suggestion will lead to. like societal perspective will change, equal opportunity, greater understanding b/w men and women etc.

I hope you understood my point didn't take me wrong.

:)
all the best

Apr 27, 2015
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I agree to the comments
by: Rohan IELTS

Yes I agree with the comments above....it's a bit complex need to plan the essay in a easy way

Jul 18, 2015
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essay writing
by: Anonymous

There is no doubt that we need to use less common vocabulary. But problem with you is that you are using complex words unnecessarily.

You need to make your points understandable. If you are saying something, you must elaborate.

An essay is not just to show that you know difficult words. Difficult words are necessary but when required.

Try to read your topics on google. Acquire some knowledge.

hopes you will like

Sep 02, 2015
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good
by: Anonymous

its difficult to understand because you mix difficult word

Sep 02, 2015
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pml
by: Anonymous

not so bad

Nov 03, 2015
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difficult wording and the use long sentences
by: Anonymous

Hi everyone...
i read this easy. it seems there are some difficult wording in it and the use of difficult wording is not understandable for the learners.
and other thing that i wanna share, you used lengthy sentences.

Nov 18, 2015
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small mistake
by: Anonymous

hey..... friend....you use high vocabulary and know one student anderstand so use simple word and i think u shoud re-write and solve your small small mistake.

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Purpose of University

by leo
(sydney)

Can anyone rate my essay

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


It is true that most high school graduates tend to attend university for career purpose. While I agree that acquiring a university degree certainly can increase the possibility of successful employment, I believe that it is also beneficial to citizen themselves as well as our community.

On the one hand, the primary role for university education is to secure a better job. Most students believe that university would provide them with marketable skills that enable them easily find a job as soon as they graduate. For example, these days in china, many students decide to choose an IT degree, as they think it is a promising industry, allowing them to have better career prospect as well as high salary. As a result, attending university is considered to be the most effective way for individuals to secure a future job as well as improve living standard.

Nevertheless, I believe that higher education put individuals and our nations into great advantages. For one thing, people nurture their independence when they enter into university. This is because, in most cases, students have to live away from their families, many tasks such as; time management, budget control and household works, have to rely on themselves. After they are getting used to overcome these difficulties, their confidence and maturity will grow rapidly. For another, people who acquire a university degree also contribute benefits to our society as a whole. It is simply because a well-developed country requires highly educated people such as; doctors, scientist as well as economists, and those people will allow many industries to flourish.

In conclusion, although university should mainly help young graduates to secure a better job, I believe that it can lead to greater outcomes to individuals and society.

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Oct 14, 2014
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ielts
by: Anonymous

good

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Ratio of Male and Female Students

by Rachel - butterflyB908

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Many people feel that both females and males should be in equal number when attending a course at an educational institution. I am inclined to disagree with this statement. Due to gender equality most people feel that everyone should be given equal rights, but it strikes me that this is not the case.

To begin with, It seems to me that women have always been treated inferior to men, it has been a struggle through the years for them to stand out and not be judged by people for what they do for a living. And I can say that the same goes for men. Why males cannot be stay at home dads? Why females cannot be football players or engineers without people judging them? Having the same number of man and women in each class seems like a good idea, that way all of them have equal chances to stand out and pursue their dreams regardless their gender.

Nevertheless, to my way of thinking this measure solves the problem of gender equality but creates another issue. It is true that people should be treated the same, but, a University is the place where people are accepted for their intelligence, their character and ambition. For instance, it is not fair to take an equal number of females and males when maybe the male candidates are better, or the female ones. It is a matter of who deserves the place, that should be the only criteria.

All things considered , I firmly believe that Feminism is about people being treated equal. It is not fair to anyone if opportunities are taken form men and given to women or vice-versa. Everyone should fight for what they want and forget about all the stereotypes that stop us from achieving our goals.

Please comment on my essay

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Jan 18, 2015
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Read sub topic.
by: Anonymous

In the two body paragraphs you have two different views. That is not considered appropriate according to sub topic.

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Free Education for All

by naomi chisi
(Cork)

There are many benefits to a good education. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades.

Do you agree or disagree?


A good education opens many doors, hence tertiary education is important and should be offered to everyone who is willing to learn. This essay will discuss the reason why university education is essential and should be provided to all students.

First of all, society only offer tertiary education to students who do well with their high school diploma. Although, this makes some students to work extra hard so that, they are accepted to university of their choice. However, I personally agree that university education should have been offered to everyone who is willing to learn regardless what the outcome of the high school grades were?

Education itself is a key to many opportunity a person can have. Being educated not only does it open many doors for the individual? But it also makes a person to think and act appropriate. There are many advantages for having university education. For example, nowadays when you apply for the job almost on any application form there is a question of highest education level. The highest education level you have the better chances for you to be given the job. Furthermore, community always admire a person who is educated, not only are you respected by many people but you can be a role model to the young generation.

Beside, being educated can take you places you always wanted to go. Travelling around the global not only are you seeing places, but you are able to learn other culture from differences society. This can help a person to be open minded and see things different. And finally, education at the end of the day make the world a better place for everyone.

***


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Paying for Education

by Neeraj Mehra
(New Delhi, India)

Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Education is a possession which makes a person stand tall and high. It adds to the overall physical personality of the person and makes him stand apart and outshines others who don’t possess it. Education is an eternal rock which never withers, not even during the wild waves of evil. It is only education which makes people bow in front of the educated and is one of the moral fabrics of any country which binds the whole society into one nation.

It is due to this high pedestal which the education occupies that higher education must be provided by the State, albeit to those subjects of the state who are economically weak.

There are, however, two schools of thought. One school of thought is of the view that the cost of higher studies should be borne by the students themselves. However, in such a scenario, all those meritorious students who are unable to continue their education for want of money (read economic resources) would be left with no option but to get themselves tagged as ‘drop outs’ by the society, due to no fault of theirs. ‘No student should be left deprived of education’ must be one of the objectives (read fundamental duty) of every Nation/State.

On the other hand, a student who thrives for education must be whole heartedly supported by the Nation/State. No stone must be left unturned to make available the most precious of the stones, i.e the education, to the student, moresover due to paucity of monetary resources (read funds). It is so because education is something which is more dearer than the fine opals, more precious than emeralds!

There’ve been quite a lot instances in the recent past, and even now, wherein the entire cost of higher studies of a student is sponsored by the State. The recent example which supports this is the educational sponsorship which was provided by the state government of ABC (a country) to the son of a widower who earns her livelihood by cleaning utensils at a road side restaurant.

It can thus be candidly concluded that education does elevate the horizon and encourages the mankind to labour at present for accruing enjoyment at a later stage in life. Consequently, the state must take responsibility, to a certain extent and for a certain set of individuals based on economic criteria to provide them with free higher education opportunities. This, in return, would only help the State/Nation to become independent and economically stable.

***

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Purpose of University

by yooonnn

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?


Universities play an important role in providing graduate valuable skills. Whether they should provide access to knowledge or equip graduates with skills needed in the work is a debatable issue. I think that graduates should be taught the skills they need to employ at their workplace in unversity.

There are numerous reasons why I believe this. Firstly, the traditional purpose of universities is to produce able graduates who can then go on to join the work force. By only providing information they deviate from this. Secondly, by teaching those skills which are needed in a job they provide the students with more experience. As a result of this when the graduates start working they have some experience rather than being a complete fresher. For instance, if a student is studying the subject business management and he is given some practical experience in the field he would develop some skills which he could then apply to his job. However, if he were only given access to the theoretical information he would find it much more difficult to implement his knowledge in his job. This is where universities play an important role.

Thirdly, nowadays graduate training schemes are quite common in companies. The aim of these programmes is to bridge the gap for students who have only obtained knowledge about the field they are working in through their degree and help them learn the skills which they would need to satisfactorily carry out their job. This could be eliminated by making universities teach these vital skills. The main function of a university should be to develop well rounded individuals who can become productive members of society.

In conclusion, I would say that any individual with the thirst for knowledge can access information on any subject. However, it is the role and function of the university to impart those skills needed for the graduate to be successful at his job.

*****


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Dec 17, 2015
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my idea
by: Anonymous

very weak essay

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Purpose of University

by Rae


Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


University education plays an important role in many countries nowadays. It’s not only an evidence of one’s education qualification and skills, but also a pass to open future career gate. A common view is that helping graduates get better jobs is the aim of university education, while many others also argue that there are more benefits in a broader sense.

It is true that getting a good job is the main goal in most people’s mind. Universities offer a variety of courses to tailor to the needs of different jobs in different industries, so that most students will be prepared for joining the workforce after they graduate. In addition to that, many people see education as an investment as costs of university educations are generally expensive for most families. Therefore it’s commonplace for people to do it in the hope of getting a better job and thus having the ability to earn a higher income.

However, some people believe that university education can bring far more benefits for both individuals and society. I personally agree with this opinion. At individual level, university education does not only offered students a place to learn knowledge and skills for jobs, but also prepare a platform for them to become a better person. For example, there are various types of facilities provided for use, student-run clubs and societies where students can develop their interpersonal skills and leadership, as well as make friends. People who have finished university education may have a higher the society with their hard and soft skills acquired from university, which is likely to get them a decent job as well. Therefore, it can said that university education provide wider benefits for both individuals and society.

To conclude, it is common for people to do a university degree hoping it can get them a better job in the first place. However, i agree more with those who believe university education can bring more benefits to individuals than just a good job, as well as to the society.

***


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Essay on the Function of University

by george loizides

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

What in your opinion should be the main function of university?


It is beyond any doubt that universities have seen a burgeoning growth during the last decade with overwhelming numbers of students enrolled to the various programmes either undergraduated or graduated education. It is widely accepted that there is an apparent tendency of people of all ages pursuing studies nowadays; however some argue whether this inextricable situation can lead to secure a job in future or seeing better job opportunities.

The advent of new technological advances in our life and the inauguration of new technologies in the workplaces force employers to seek skilled people with specific requirements who are adept of performing well for filling special vacancies. For instance, one fledgling field that has started to grow in many universities is Biostatistics and the versatile, albeit well established field with an incredibly rapid growth of Information Technology. The crux lies on that even if an avalanche of applications had been accepted from universities in these areas then only a few graduates from top universities have been channeled out to related industry.

Undoubtedly, many universities physically outside Ivy league tend to downgrade their acceptance standards. Thus they enroll as many students as possible in order to subsidise their research only, without pondering the needs of the industry for supplying the right number of graduates. It is based on these concrete grounds that many claim that universities have diverged from their initial purposes.

In conclusion, I am inclined to support the aforementioned opinion. I firmly believe that universities have to find ways to approach and to cooperate with employers to understand their needs and in that way governments have to intervene too.

***

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May 20, 2015
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Very good essay
by: Anonymous

Very good essay indeed! The vocabulary and the ideas are remarkable.

May 21, 2015
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wow!
by: Anonymous

Amazing essay!I really hope that my brain will manage more in constructing wonderful essay!

Dec 06, 2015
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good
by: chinchu salin

Its amazing....the vocabulary is too good

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Essay on Taking a Second Degree

by Aim
(Bangkok)

Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen fields should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?


Nowadays, more and more students graduate from universities each years. Some of them get the job they want, but others cannot join their desired position. While some graduates willingly work in an unwanted job, I would argue that they should enroll and complete their second degree in order to get the perfect position for them.

Some people believe that graduated students should work and live by their own salary after they finish their degree, despite getting an uninteresting job. Two main reasons should be given to support this point of view. First, some parents think that it is waste of time to finish the second degree, and that their children should get a job to gain their own earnings. Second, some successful people in the world haven't worked in their firstly desired job, so they have tried many jobs before they find which position is perfectly fitting to them.

On the other hand, some people advocate that graduates who are not be hired in their field of study should register for a second degree. They believe that if students cannot get their suitable job, this mean that there are too many students who graduated from that field of study. For example, there are more than 10 thousand engineer students who finish their degree in Thailand each year. Therefore, graduates should study a second field in order to be different and get a better job.

To sum up, although it is true that students who get an unwanted job could get their desired job in the end, students that choose to study a second degree would get a better chance to find the job. Second degree-graduates definitely have wider knowledge to apply to many different tasks. This could be an advantage for them to gain a position they want.

***

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Function of University

by Dzung Tran

Could anyone help me review and correct this task 2 writing ?

Thanks so much

---------------------------------

(2009.10.24)
Some people think university education should prepare students for employment. Other people think university has other functions. Discuss both views and state what you think is the function of university education.


Answer:

Some people say that universities only need to educate students for employment. Other people are of the opinion that there are other functions of an university. This essay discusses both two views to see which are the most important functions of an university.

There is no question that with an university it is most important to provide students abilities to be offerred expected jobs. Universities are educational institutes. And the basic purpose of education is to help people to acquire knowledge and apply them to work effectively. Also, the fact that a student is graduated from an university and can get a high-paying position in a large company, in reverse, helps to enhance that university's reputation and makes it more attractive.

However, with a long period of four to six years studying in university, students don't live in a place which is isolated and different to the outer. Therefore some people believe that students receive more than just knowledge from universities. There are chances for students to take part in extracurricular activities like fundraising for charity, doing community services to help the cities cleaner and brighter. Such activities enhance students' social consciousness, then they could become good citizens in the future. Besides, many students live together in residence hall, eat, learn and hang around in conjunction. This may create friendships that are long-lasting. Juniors and seniors act as helpers and mentors for freshmen and sophomores also brings a variation of relationships in universities. The life within university is clearly a loving environment. This may benefit students when they have their own family later.

I absolutely agree that is is most important for an university to provide specialized practical knowledge to students. Nevertheless, I don't put a low value on other activities in universities because I think they are very helpful in forming students' morality and character.

Illustrations like these above support for the conclusion that university education functions do not include only producing high educated persons, but also training human beings.

(332 words)

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Restricting University Entry

by Anandita Rizki
(Indonesia)

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


At the entrance university examination, the prospective students’ application mainly selected based on their overall academic performance at high school. It is argued that higher education only provided to the youngsters who have an outstanding academic performance. As a result, only low percentage of young generation can attend university. In my opinion, I believe that it should be accessible to everyone.

The term of outstanding academic performer can lead to an injustice judgement. Genetic factor plays an important role in developing a smart person. But this factor is not enough. In fact, intelligence is affected by many factors which strongly related to how much money you invest. This can be ranged from simple to complicated things. Brain needs nutritious foods as well as supplements to develop well even since we are at our fetus stage. Thus, we obviously have to increase our budget to fulfill this kind of needs. Other factor is the education facilities that we can afford such as schools, tutors, and books. Its price often followed by its quality. The more we pay, the more we are likely to get high quality. All of this can only be afforded by the richs. The poors experience difficulty in providing the nutritious foods and education facilities for their children. As a consequence, the group which comprises of very best students at school often belong to the richs. However, nowadays many scholarships are available for the poors. They can successfully graduated. In fact, there are many cases that their life a way much better if they have their university degree. When the restriction is imposed, they don’t have the equal right to pursue their degree in tertiary education.

Education is a long-term investment for the future of a nation. Its benefits are going back to the whole society. By giving an equal chance, there will be more population that hold their university degree. Each person give their best effort because they have a skill in particular area which they had acquired in university. They can be seen as the country’s assets to improve the quality of its human resources and, moreover, accelerate its economic development.

To sum up, I completely disagree that the university is merely an exclusive place for those who marked as an outstanding student. However, everyone is capable in pursuing their degree. Therefore, higher education should be provided for all.

***

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Accepting Male and Female Students

by bhowmick
(USA)

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.


Education is considered backbone of a nation. It is also an important element of human life. No nation can develop and prosper unless properly educated. However, both men and women are equally considered to contribute national achievement. Hence, to ensure empowerment and gender discrimination I believe that the universities should offer equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

The main reason I support the notion that the tertiary institutes should accept equal number of boys and girls is to eliminate gender discrimination. In many countries in the world especially in western countries both men and women enjoy equal degree of freedom in all aspect of life. Unfortunately, this is not the same in third world countries. In fact there is an opposite picture exists especially in poor nations where male dominate in most of the aspects. For instance, in some nations male doctors are not allowed to inspect and treat female patients and thus the authorities give preference in female candidates in those subjects. Whereas in developed world there is virtually no sex differentiation and pupils can get admitted any subjects they are interested in. What I want to highlight here is that if educational institutions pick equal number of students from both gender it will not only eliminate impartiality that might exist once graduates enter employment but also equalize the balance between male and female employees.

The other reason I strongly believe that all educational institutes should take the same number of male and female candidates is due to gender empowerment. As we are aware that female candidates may have more attraction to nursing programs whereas male candidates may be interested in sport. This way it might bring inequality of gender ration once they are graduated. Therefore, to avoid additional candidates to a particular discipline universities can offer admissions same number of boys and girls. In fact, such practice would help to stop the disruption between both sexes and will make sure empowerment of both sexes uniquely.

In conclusion, needless to say that for every stages of national and international achievement both sexes are vitally essential. So I believe that both male and female should receive equal level of education and, hence, all institutes should accept the same number of genders in every subject.

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