IELTS Essay: Mixed sex schooling

by Raj
(India)

Requesting your time to review the following essay of mine. It will be very helpful, if you could shed some light on areas to improve.

I need band 7 in writing which seems elusive at the moment.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Worldwide education is given utmost importance as it play's pivotal role in shaping an individual. In today's educational system, school's role is considered vital. Some argue that the schools for boys and girls should be separate while others refute this opinion. Both sides will be argued with reasoned analysis before reaching a conclusion.

The social environment has many sections of society with different upbringing. For example, in traditional countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Yemen, it is more common to see separate schools for boys and girls rather than mixed schools. This might be due to the social framework in these countries. It is argued by many in these countries that girls should be protected from males. To avoid any undue incidents, such as love affair or physical contact between boys and girls which might result in bad reputation for a family in their society. May be, this could be one among many reasons for some to argue that boys and girls should have separate schools.

On the other hand, modern societies often consider mixed schools as an opportunity in building a better individuals out of their kids. For instance, students from mixed schools tend to be more outspoken, not being shy while being around opposite sex. Girls learn, how to be bold in expressing themself from boys. Likewise, boys get an idea of commitment and politeness from girls. These attributes would help both boys and girls in their adult life, including personal and professional fronts. Thus, it can be seen, why some prefer mixed schools to be advantageous.

In conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both the sides of this argument, the positives obtained out of mixed schools outweigh the concept of separate schools for boys and girls. It is predicted that the co-education schools would be preferred more in the coming years.