My comments in planning your main ideas by: Anonymous
Hi,
I am not a tutor here, however, I hope my comments can help you in structuring your essays
Think of Main ideas and lead them to details.
PROBLEMS (suggested 2 -3 points)
Try to develop traffic congestion and how it affects individual/society.
This is how I will write:
"With the increasing number of cars on the road, it will aggravate the traffic condition in gridlocked cities, particularly during rush hours, which may leads to road accidents since there are drivers who will overtake cars recklessly".
The same for pollution, how does pollution affect us day to day? Gives example that it affects the environment and health.
Pollution causes global warming, causes breathing difficulties... Try to work your main ideas leading to effects.
SOLUTION (suggested 2-3)
Heavy tax on what? What kind of heavy tax? Tax on car purchase?
Do not start your first sentence on carpooling, for example ... start with a topic sentence:
"Individuals should participate in a carpooling service, which is a a private shared transportation for a number of people travelling to the same destination at the same time. Therefore,using this service will reduce the number of cars effectively, yet economically for daily commuters".
Conclusion:
Try to paraphrase and summarise the effects and solutions in one sentence. Then follow on to re-confirm your standpoint that it can be controlled if everyone does their part to proactively in minimise the use of cars and explore using other means of transportation.
Mar 14, 2017 Rating
essay structure by: AnonymousALEX
Commenting on the structure of the essay I would say you really did good work.The introduction is well paraphrased with a clear outline.Your body consists of two paragraphs, first one is clearly highlighting the problem and the second pointed out the possible solutions.Your conclusion has the summary of main points.To me, this is a good essay.
