Comments for Reducing Traffic and Pollution

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Dec 13, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Essay - solution to traffic and pollution
by: IELTS buddy

Hi,

It's generally a pretty good essay. Few grammar errors, some good vocabulary and mostly coherent.

But make sure you are using your paragraphs fully to support your points.

You spend the first half of the first body paragraph just repeating the question more or less:

To begin, it’s considered truth that a raise of the prices of some goods can lead to a decrease of the number of buyers, thus it would make sense to solve pollution and traffic related problems with a higher price of petrol.

This does not add to the content / support in anyway. It should be reduced to a much shorter topic sentence so you have more space / time to develop supporting arguments.

This will improve your score for task response.

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